I am sure if I thought long and hard about it, I could come up with a personal example that has happened to me dealing with these issues. However, I am going to focus on the woman who is my spin (cycling) instructor on Tuesday and Thursdays mornings and the few stories she has shared with us in the past week about the men she works with because I think they fit perfectly with this topic. I attend class at a local fitness center and this woman is in her late 50's-early 60's and teaches a variety of classes each day at the center. I am not sure how long she has worked there, but judging from her physique and stories, she has worked there for quite a while.
The first story she shared with us deals with microaggressions and sexism she has faced from the male instuctor that teaches a class after her. I guess he speaks negatively about her and the classes she teaches and actually knocks over the stereo or fans, on purpose, that we use specifically for spin class because he knows it upsets her. It is almost like he is trying to intimidate her. That all seems minor and childish, but I guess he came in one day to get ready for class while she is in there by herself cleaning up some stuff and he went over to where she was and shoved her out of his way, even though the room is huge and he wouldn't need to be that close to her. He didn't act like it was a big deal and just carried on with his business. She reported it to the front desk and now he is required to wait at the desk until she is out of the room because he is so rude and aggressive towards her. She isn't even sure why he is like that towards her and believes it is because she is a woman and he has anger issues towards females. It is really strange to me and completely sexist, if that is the case. I think she also felt it was unfair that more was not done to him based on his behavior and he is still allowed to work there, even though he has targeted her with his aggression.
The other inequities she talks about are how hard it is to be a female working in a predominately men's field (teaching fitness classes and being a personal trainer). The fitness center just hired a new male instructor and she was commenting on how he has gotten to do a lot of new classes that she has been suggesting for awhile, but since he is a fresh face and he is male, he is being allowed to try these new things that she has not been able to get done. She also mentioned that maybe if he requested to get things fixed it would get done faster because he is a male. She doesn't sound bitter when she talks about it, but I could definately tell that there has been many instances for her when sexism has been a part of her work environment.
Now I realize that these are not major situations compared to what else goes on in the world, but I really thought it was interesting how she was discussing this with us and it fit right along with the topics we have been discussing in this course. I think the director of the fitness center has the power to make these situations into more positive ones and make them more equitable for her. I really think in the first situation the male should not have allowed to come back because what if he does this to someone else? The fitness center could really be in a lot of trouble and another female should not have to face the aggressiveness of this man.
Amber,
ReplyDeleteI agree that situations like this should be dealt with, but not too many people that I have encountered know how. Many times it turns in to "he said, she said" and that can just make things worse for the target of such behaviors. It would matter too who the decision maker is at the fitness center; if it is a man, he may not see it as an issue and it is just a woman trying to cause trouble or being overly sensitive; if it is a woman, she may be walking her own tight rope of tring to maitain her authority over males in the work place.
You say these may seem minior, but if we look at the bigger snowball that all of these little things create... it can be overwhelming!
Amber,
ReplyDeleteIt might not seem major compared to what is going on in the world, but it is major in her life. Men can't stand for a woman to do something better than they can. This might be the case. She is doing the right thing by not giving up and to continue doing something that she loves. When I left my kids father I had to learn how to do a lot of things on my own. So, one day I bought toolbox and some tools. I didn't have any idea what some of them were called, but I remembered seeing them in their father's toolbox. I became "Ms. Fix It" because I knew it had to be done.
When I met my husband he was trying to fix my lawnmower. I had already taken it apart, but couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. I knew he was a little annoyed because he had to go behind me and figure out what I had done. He needed a tool and couldn't find it in his toolbox, so I rolled my toolbox out of the utility building. First, it was larger than his. Second, everything was neat and in place. Finally, I had the tool that he needed. Today if he can't find something in his toolbox he automatically looks in mine. I remember him saying, "What is a woman doing with a shop toolbox?" I said, "I have to be the woman and the man around here." We laugh about it everytime I roll it out for him to use.
Amber, It is so sad that there are people that feel they have a right to mistreat people. This instructor has worked and reached the great age of 50-60. Where is the respect for women and for seniors. It is good that she reported him although nothing was hardly done.
ReplyDeleteThe fitness center should have really intervene so this would not happen to anyone else. it is a shame how some male population feel that they have the upper hand in everything. We can call it like we see it, they are male shovinist and hope your instructor continues to stand up for her rights.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing
Lisa
Amber, I agree that more should have been done than him having to wait at the front desk. That is just improper conduct on his job. No one should feel uncomfortable and stuck in the situation as your instructor. I commend her for staying and continuing her work there. I would approach the Supervisor about changes and things that I would need. Thank you for sharing this story Amber
ReplyDeleteAmber.... thanks for sharing this post. I am upset that more was not done to this man because that behavior is clearly unacceptable. However, I commend her for staying at her job and holding her ground.It seems as if his main objective was to make her leave the job. Great story...
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa,
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to get a different view of things from people in another sector. As I am in education, I rely on my colleagues in the corporate world or otherwise to discuss trends in racism, prejudice and bias and how (or if) they differ from office to office. It's a shame that your instructor is experiencing these issues and it also reminds me that you never want to discredit someone's experiences or feelings. It's not fair to dismiss their feelings, simply because you may not understand or "don't think it could happen to them". By listening and tyring to develop a plan of progressive action, is how change gets accomplished. I hope she has other people in her corner, in addition to you, supporting her concerns and giving her the continual courage she needs to move forward with speaking up.
Sorry, I meant to say "Hi Amber!"
Delete