When I took the tests, I scored a 48 on the Communication Anxiety Inventory, a 68 on verbal agressiveness and I was in group 1 on the listening styles profile, which meant I am people-oriented. None of this really surprised me because I know I do have anxiety when it comes to certain communication situations, especially public speaking, but luckily for my job I very rarely have to do this. As I have grown more confident in my position at work, I have spoken out more in meetings and I think this will continue to get better as I work longer in my field.
My boyfriend scored me as a 57 on communication anxiety, a 63 on verbal agressiveness and in group 1 also for my listening style. What I was surprised with was how different our communication anxiety scores were. It still left me in the same category, but his score left me close to being high anxiety and I really don't know that I am. I think he scored me this way because I always complain about speaking publicly and how bad I am at it, plus he has no idea if I participate in meetings at work because he isn't there. But then I got to thinking, maybe that is how I communicate when I am with him or our friends, which is probably what he used for his decisions on the test, so maybe I need to work on my communication so I do not come across as having such high anxiety. I would hate to preceive this to others. I also read through the other types of listening style profiles and he definately does not fall into group 1 like I do, so maybe that is why we have trouble with our communications sometimes. He likes facts, figures and to the point and he isn't afraid if others feelings get hurt. I am not quite that way and I found the different profiles to be interesting.
One of the things I learned this week that I am good at when it comes to communicating is my self-monitoring skills. I find myself to be very observant and I like to just sit back and see how everything is going and what everyone is doing when I am new to a situation. This lets me see how it is approriate to interact and communicate with others and it also gives me insight on what topics to discuss. This helps me in both my personal and professional life because I am not a person that has the put-your-foot-in-mouth moments like I know others have. I usually think things through before I say them and I think this shows respect and also some intelligence.
The other thing I learned this week was about the interaction-appearance theory and how I really follow that in both my personal and professional life. Like I discussed during our discussion this week on the picture and my initial reaction to it, I judge a lot about a person based on what they wear. I don't think this is wrong because I am not a person that is unkind or unwilling to talk to people, I just have initial thoughts about a person based on their clothes. I think this plays into the interaction-apperance theory because even though I may pre-judge people, the more I interact with them and find them to be pleasant, the more I want to continue hanging out with them or working with them, depending on the situation. I may even find that I judged a person unfairly or differently than they are, so this is always interesting when that happens.
I am continuing to learn a lot about my communication styles and also how I communicate based on others preceptions of me. I hope we can continue to get feedback from others on how well we communicate because I think this is a great way to learn about yourself.
References
O'Hair,
D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. (1st ed.).
New York: Bedford/St. Martin's
Amber,as usual, you make some interesting points and I agree that the interaction-appearance theory is intriguing and most definitely at work in my life, too. Unfortunately, I too often catch myself avoiding certain situations or people due to a lack of confidence and even when I sit back and observe I seldom develop the comfort to interact. It seems strange that I am more likely to participate in a conversation that is initiated by others than initiating one myself.
ReplyDeleteAmber,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it is important to think before you speak. One thing that a person cannot do is take back something that has been said. Thank you for a great blog.
Amber I think it is great that you are able to speak in front of a group with no anxiety because that is one of my biggest fears!
ReplyDeleteI was also in group one with listening style, in the early childhood field it is important to be people-oriented. I am also very fearful of speaking in groups. Great post this week.
ReplyDeleteHi Amber,
ReplyDeleteI agree that this exercise is a great way of finding out how others perceive us as far as communicating.
Like you, I have no problem speaking in meetings, parent conferences, and small groups, it is mainly larger groups. Especially groups of higher ranks, CEO's and so forth that I get shaken up.
As you said, hopefully, these experience will help us build up the confidence and graudally overcome the anxiety we have when it comes to public speaking.
Amber,
ReplyDeleteI too judge a person by what they are wearing; especially the young women. When I see them wearing clothes that reveal more than what it should, I think that they are not a good girl. They are leaving nothing for the imagination. Then I go a little further to think about what their parents are like because they are buying the clothes for them. Enough preaching. I was in group one also. I think I am a people person. So much that my husband says I am always bringing my work home with me (talking about the children in my class). I have such a bond with some of my students that they want to come home with me sometimes. And of course I let them. I hope that we can overcome our anxiety when it comes to speaking in public.